Patrick Becomes A Real Jerk  

When Patrick arrived at the drug store he saw a big red "NOW HIRING" sign in the window.  He was so excited he forgot completely about getting lozenges for Wiggle. 

"The Drug Store!" he thought.  "The last place on my list I was going to look for a  job!"

This was no ordinary boring drug store.  This was the old fashioned kind, where you could also go up to the counter and get ice cream and candy!

Patrick didn't have his resume with him, but he filled out an application and brought it over to the manager.

Now that Patrick had interviewed for jobs a few times, he remembered to pay attention, he remembered to be polite, and he remembered not to drool on anything.

The manager was impressed that Patrick had helped McDoggle's out in an emergency, and after asking a couple of questions, he offered Patrick a job right on the spot.

"To be honest Mr. O'Malley," said the manager, "what I need to hire is a couple of jerks. I think you will do nicely."


Patrick was stunned.  On the one paw, he understood he was finally being offered a job.  On another paw, he didn't know why the manager thought he should be a jerk.  Above all, he was worried that Cricket would not marry him if she found out he was a jerk.

"Is something the matter?" the manager asked.

"I'd like this job to show my sweetheart that I am respawnsible and ready for marriage," said Patrick. "But I don't know if she'd marry me if she thought I was a jerk!"

"Do you know what jerk means here, Patrick?" asked the manager with a slight grin.

"No sir, " admitted Patrick.

"Put this hat and bow tie on, and I'll show you," the manager instructed him.

"Your job is a Soda Fountain Jerk," the manager said.  "You will be respawnsible for making the ice cream sodas, and sundaes for our customers."

"This is so cool!" exclaimed Patrick.   "But why do they call us JERKS?"

Soda Jerk is an old-fashioned name for guys who work at the soda fountain.  It comes from the way you need to jerk these handles to get the soda to come out," he said as he showed Patrick how to make it work.

Patrick was mesmerized by the fancy spigots that held the flavors and the fizz.  There was even a special faucet for whipped cream!


"I am going to love working here!" said Patrick.  "If Cricket could only see me now!"